Please Don't Refer To Me as a Fruit or a Geometric Shape. My Thoughts on Why I Don't Believe in "Dressing for Your Body Type."

You’re probably getting to know me a lot better through these blog posts. I don’t dress “age appropriately.” I don’t mind packing a little extra when traveling. I definitely don’t believe all horizontal stripes make you look wide. Most importantly, I don’t like putting my body in the category of a fruit or a geometric shape!

Let’s be real. How is associating yourself with an apple really supposed to make you feel? I thought we weren’t supposed to be so hard on ourselves? I don’t want to be compared to an apple or a pear, or a circle or a square for that matter.

Come on ladies!!!! Whose bright idea was this anyway!? Do I sound annoyed? I am.

Think about it…we are asked to equate ourselves with a geometric shape or a fruit. Then we are told how to dress that shape in order to disguise it and make it look more like what society deems as desirable.

Why are we trying to make ourselves look like what society is saying is the ideal way to look? Aren’t we good enough the way we are?

Instead of focusing on what will make us look different (or better) according to “someone”, shouldn’t we focus on what we feel comfortable in and what we like? (Have you read “I. Feel. Pretty.”? Please check it out! It ties into this whole topic!) Just recently I wore this skirt and it doesn’t “minimize” my hips. Being the “hour glass or butternut squash” that I am, I’m guessing I would be told this is a “NO.” However, I LOVE the skirt and I do in fact HAVE HIPS!

Why are we focused on changing the way we want our bodies to look instead of enhancing our style and expressing our personality?

Shouldn’t we spend time finding things we like to wear as opposed to what society is telling us to wear? For example, you’re told you’re a “pear” and pears shouldn’t wear low waisted jeans because they accentuate wider hips. However, you are not comfortable in high waists. As a pear, you are now searching for a high waisted jeans you don’t like to wear. Does this make sense to you? It certainly doesn’t to me!

Do you really think there are only 4 different body types?

This really isn’t a one size fits all program either. There are so many different body types! Everyone can’t possibly fit into 1 of 4 types! For example, I probably fit in the hourglass category, maybe even a butternut squash? However, in this peri-menopause stage of life, I think I’m crossing over into an apple too!!! So, now what?! I’m mixing fruits and veggies!

Do you see why I don’t agree with this style of dressing? It’s so confusing. It puts focus on what’s not important. It puts many women into a small number of categories. It coninues to make us look at our body and what’s “wrong” with it. Most importantly, it takes all the fun out of dressing!

So, what do I recommend?

First look at store catalogues, magazines and Pinterest to help you find looks you like. Look for styles you’d like to try and women whose style you are “crushing on.”

I would encourage you to set aside the “rules of thumb" here. They are not useful and take all the fun out of creating your look.

For example, if you love the look of long skirts and have been told you can’t wear them. I would still stress that you save these photos or pins! Look for versions of these items that you can try on and coordinate with different items to achieve the looks you love.

Here’s why…

You’re 5’2” and you have been told over and over that you “shouldn’t” wear long skirts or dresses. However, you love the look of a maxi. I would encourage you to try some different versions of long skirts/dresses and not to give up on them because someone told you “you can’t or shouldn’t wear it.” There are always options!

Look at these…

Both of these options are cut for petites. They are midi length so they will not be down to your ankle. They are not overwhelming in fabric or pattern and could very well offer a more petite frame an outfit with some length!

This is just one example of missing out on a style because of someone’s “rule” about height!

Check out this Midi Skirt …It’s a little longer for a petite woman but the slits on the side can add length because it draws your eye up and down.

A handkerchief hem can give the illusion of a maxi without adding too much length.

If we stick to these “body type rules” we could be missing out on some fun styles. Take the time to try on and be open to experimenting with new looks. Don’t limit yourself. I promise you, it will be worth it.

If you still need help…please check out Ways to Work with Theo. While you are there take a peek at My Styling Successes. I’d love for you to be this happy too!

Fashionably yours,

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The Importance Of A Swimsuit Cover Up And My Top Cover Up Picks!

Norma Kamali from Deborah James Fashion, North Palm Beach

This kimono does everything. It serves as a swimsuit cover up, a bathrobe and a duster. The possibilities are endless.

Getting a swimsuit cover up is probably just as important as getting a new swimsuit. I once had a friend tell me “It’s all about the cover up!” She was definitely on to something!

You can’t wear swimsuits through hotel lobbies and you probably aren’t wearing one driving your car to the beach. Even if you are you are, you may want to stop at the grocery store on the way home and you aren’t wearing your swimsuit into Publix!

There is such a variety of cover ups today. How do you choose which one to purchase? Do you prioritize Versatility, Style, or Ease of Wearability? For me, it all depends where I’m going. Am I on vacation? Do I need to think about how much I’m packing? Am I taking a jaunt with the kids to the beach for the day? Will we have armfuls of gear to take with us? Am I on a romantic getaway with my sweetie? Will we be spending most of our time on the beach?

For Versatility…

One of the things I like to keep in mind while shopping for cover ups is to make sure they are versatile. It’s great to be able to take one away on vacation and have it double up as an outfit. Wouldn’t you be happy knowing that your cover up could take you from the beach to dinner with the change of your swimsuit.

A couple of my picks for this look…

Tory Burch Patchwork Dress

This Tory Burch Patchwork Dress-is so pretty and you can leave on the slides, take off the swimsuit and head to a nice dinner.

Blue Boheme from Vagabond Apparel, North Palm Beach

This piece by Blue Boheme from Vagabond Apparel, North Palm Beach is so versatile because it comes with its’ own slip. Throw it on with flip flops and your swimsuit and you can walk through any hotel lobby. Add the slip and a pair of platforms and you’re off to dinner!

You may even have a casual dress in your closet that could double up as a cover up. Be sure to take a look. I am all about shopping your closet!

For style…

You may be heading away on a romantic getaway with your sweetie. Sandcastle building won’t be on the agenda, so you may just choose to go for style. If this is the case you may also want to coordinate your swimsuit with your coverup. White on white is always pretty and colorful patterned tunics over bright swimsuits say “Yay, I’m on vacay!”

Some of my favorite picks for style are…

I always love Johnny Was pieces for vacation. They are light and airy and have a great boho vibe that screams relax! This Clarisse Long Kaftan is a combo of silk and cotton and has such a dramatic look. I think it looks romantic. Do you?

Trina Turk Sarong…love all the colors!

A sarong or pareo is a great choice for a stylish look. Everything But Water has the best selection of sarongs that I have seen. I love this Trina Turk Mosaic Pareo because it has every color under the sun. Sarongs can be worn so many different ways and are perfect for beach walks! It can also be folded over and worn as a short pareo.

I love the cut on this number but it’s the coloration that sold me! You don’t have to worry about someone not finding you on the beach to bring you that cocktail!

For Ease of Wearability…

Or, you may just go for ease of wearability because you’ll be lugging beach toys, sand chairs, towels/blankets and coolers!

Some of my easy cover up choices are…

If you’re headed to the beach with lots of gear you’ll want something easy and cool. I love tunics for this purpose! This Tory Burch Cotton Voile Boatneck Cover Up is simple, easy to move in and requires little effort.

Another tunic style cover up from Vagabond Apparel, North Palm Beach is this lightweight, sheer tee fabric from Pitusa.

Isn’t the back detail cute!?

There are so many variations to this style, sleeveless, short or long too! Check out the back detail!

I love the simplicity of this Le Tarte Luxe Long Beach Shirt. I can also see it over shorts or skinny jeans at another time. For now it’s effortless style for a day at the beach. It also comes in a short version if you would rather not have the length.

Whatever the scenario, there are lots of great options to choose from! First decide the look you’re going for and then make your plan!

Happy relaxing and don’t forget the sunscreen!

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Check out my other blog post topics:

• Beauty + Makeup
• Closet Cleanse
• Fall/Winter
• Pre-teen Style
• Shopping
• Spring/Summer
• Style Advice
• Style Tips
• Theo's Picks
• Theo's Style Musings
• Travel/Packing

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"Head Over Sneakers" My Tips On How to Wear Sneakers With A Dress.

I avoided dresses for a long time. Mostly because I felt I had to wear a heel or wedge with them. I enjoy going about my daily routine looking stylish, but comfortable at the same time. I am in and out of the car a lot and heels are not realistic. I instantly fell for the casual look that I could achieve wearing dresses and skirts with sneakers!

I am all about simple and quick when it comes to dressing. While I like to look finished and put together, the Summer months in Florida are too hot to be overdone. I am constantly heading out to the barn for riding lessons or to the beach for surf lessons and those errands make it tough to wear fussy shoes.

So, dresses have become my “go to” solution for those days when I can’t decide what to put on. They are easy to wear for a number of reasons. And, who isn’t about easy? (Especially now that I can throw on some sneaks with them!)

*They can fit any body because they come in a variety of fabrics, shapes and lengths.

*They are cool to wear in the heat of Summer.

*Most importantly, all you have to do is add a shoe and an accessory! You don’t have to match tees or blouses and decide what bottoms to wear! One stop shopping!!!

In order to pull off this look I have a few tips for you!

NO!

1 Don’t wear socks that show!!!! This is one of my most important suggestions.

YES!

A sock that shows, breaks up the line from dress to shoe and draws your attention right to the sock! Your legs will look longer if they don’t have the interruption of a sock.

As the sneaker says “Lovely”

2 If your sneaker has any sort of graphic print you should keep the dress simple. Wear teeshirt styles or solid colors with sneakers that have a little extra something on them.

And, if your dress is a busier print then keep the sneaker simple!

3 Still not sure if you can pull off a sneaker with something a little dressier? Ask yourself “Could I wear this with a flat sandal?” Chances are if you can wear it with a slide or wedge you can wear it with a sneaker. I am not fond of dressier dresses with sneakers. Certain dresses are meant to be worn as cocktail attire.

Another question I like to ask myself is…”How would I feel at the grocery store in this outfit?”

4 Maxi dresses require sneakers that are less bulky. Stick with something simple especially if the dress is a lot longer. If the dress is longer you don’t want it to drag on the ground so even a simple platform could work.

Superga Platform

5 Your sneaker doesn’t have to be the newest rage, you can pull off this trend with a simple Superga or Keds!

KEEP THIS FOR THE GYM!

6 Finally, I would not pair athletic sneakers with dresses. You may see photos of this “trend” but it will look dated very quickly.

Esse Ut Esse

This white sneaker works as it’s more of a street shoe than a gym shoe.

I hope this helps you style sneakers/kicks with some of your favorites Summer Dresses! I know it has helped me get a lot more use out of them! If you try any of these looks, snap a photo and tag me on Instagram @therealchachaolivia!

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Curating a Preteens' Summer Looks-My Tips For Making The Shopping Trip Run Smoothly

Someone’s gaining on me! Alex wearing CAbi Cruise Skirt, Van’s Sneakers and Anthropologie “A” necklace. Mom in Meline Shoes and Moxie Tee Dress.

Last week’s blog was all about “Teaching My Teens How They Dress Matters.” Alex wears uniforms to school and trains in horse show jumping after school, so her “social wardrobe” was lacking. We were going to visit family in New England and she needed clothes.

We sometimes don’t agree on the length of the shorts and these were a perfect compromise. Levi’s denim and cabi Breeze Pullover.

So, we assessed her current wardrobe to see what fit and what didn’t. We donated school uniforms back to school and riding clothes went to the consignment shop. We made a list of what she would need for the trip and we agreed on the list of items to purchase.

Our shopping list…

A denim jacket, shorts, tees, sneakers, dresses that she could wear to dinner, a lightweight sweater (other than a “hoodie”) and sandals.

Tucker and Tate dress. The ruffle keeps it 12.

We started at Nordstroms because we’ve always had so much luck there. It is exciting to see Alex’s style evolve as she grows up. Even though I think of her as a child, we are more often shopping in the Junior Department. That’s the scary part! There is quite a difference in the looks from children’s to junior’s!

cabi Cruise skirt, Levi’s denim jacket, Sam Edelman wedges.

How do you teach your 12 year old to dress like a 12 year old when the clothing she fits in looks like it is designed for older women? I’m afraid if I tell her to wear more modest things, it will make her think I want her to “hide” her body. But, I don’t want her to think that by being comfortable in her own skin means she should “put it all out there.” It is such a fine line.

I want Alex to have a positive body image and it can take one comment to change the way she will look at herself. As I mentioned in "Teaching My Teens How They Dress Matters,” I want both of my children to have their own style and to feel comfortable in the clothing they wear. I do, however, want them to realize that it’s important to think about what you wear and what it says about you. Your peers aren’t the only ones who see you. You will be seen by parents, teachers and potential employers all throughout your life. These people may all look at how you present yourself differently. It most likely will matter to them. They will care how you present yourself.

Off the shoulder top but not cropped.

We had an amazing salesperson in the Nordstrom Children’s Department. She was pretty talented as she brought us items that we both agreed on. I am not sure how old she was but she was wise. She understood where we were both coming from. It wasn’t an easy job as she ran between the children’s department and the junior department (which was upstairs) finding items to help us complete the list.

Meeting her right where she is. Van’s, tees and Levi shorts.

A couple of tips for making this shopping trip run smoothly…

*Find a salesperson who you can both relate to. I liken it to finding someone to help you with your own clothing. It helps when you feel you can relate to someone because you like their style. This is a little tougher when you have two people shopping!

*Let your tween pick out the items she’d like to try along with some of your selections. Ask her to be open to trying some of your ideas. She may not like them but at least she’s open to trying!

*Do the bathing suit test with clothing. Ask her to see how she feels when she’s moving in the item, sitting and bending over. Does the clothing ride up? Is it comfortable? Teach her how to use a 3-way mirror. If she’s unsure of the item have her take a selfie. I find it works better than a mirror.

*Finally, if you can’t agree on an item ask to keep it on “hold.” Having arguments while in the department store can make a “what’s supposed to be fun time” go sour quickly.

Dressed up with kicks. Fitted tee shirt dress but not low cut or too short…a good happy medium!

Alex and I discussed this blog post after our shopping trip. I wanted to know how she felt about the tips I suggested and, in general, about the items we purchased. She said the “tips about moving around in the clothing were helpful.” She said it reminded her about my suggestions when we were shoe shopping a while back, when I told her it was important to walk on the carpet and the flooring to see how comfortable the shoes were. The only place we still struggle is on “leggings as pants.” Fortunately, we didn’t need those on this trip!

Still a kid jumping off the slide. Levi shorts, white tank top and cabi Breeze Pullover Sweater.

I hope you find these tips helpful! I enjoyed shopping with with my “little girl” and I hope it will always remain a way for us to connect and have fun.

Teaching My Teens How They Dress Matters

I always had the best time shopping for Alex’s clothes. Then one day I bought her an outfit she didn’t like. I knew that day would eventually come. My little girl was growing up and I was excited to see her style evolve.

We started off on a little shopping trip to celebrate her birthday. We were having a lot of fun and finally landed at the shoe department in Nordstrom’s. We came across a sale rack and she was able to try on all the shoes that interested her. She pulled out a pair of heels and they were small enough to fit. It was fun to watch her walk around in them. And then she asked me to buy them for her…she really wanted them! I was not buying them. She was 5! It made me realize as cute as the whole situation was, there were a lot of things we’d have to talk about when it came to dressing.

I had some worries then and I still do now. She is in middle school and these can be difficult years. We are embarking on this long road and there are so many things to discuss as we navigate this next chapter. I’d like to have fashion and shopping remain part of our fun!

It’s important to say here that I’ve had similar discussions with my son about clothing. For the purpose of keeping things simple, I have chosen to chat about the way Alex and I are navigating it. As a family we have been discussing this topic and it has been very interesting to hear their views and thoughts.

I want both of my children to have their own style and to feel comfortable in the clothing they wear. I do, however, want them to realize that it’s important to think about what you wear and what it says about you.

I want both of my children to have their own style. It’s important to feel comfortable in the clothes you are wearing. I know for myself, when I feel put together I am at my most confident. Have you read my blog post "I Feel Pretty"? It’s all about my feelings towards clothing and my confidence. This may not be true for everyone but I can certainly see a difference in Alex’s confidence and the way she carries herself when she is put together in something she chooses to wear. I also recognized it was important for Anthony to choose his own graduation suit and shoes for his end of year events. He stood a little taller and carried himself differently.

Your peers aren’t the only ones who see you. You will be seen by parents, teachers and potential employers all throughout your life. These people may all look at how you present yourself differently. It most likely will matter to them. They will care how you present yourself.

In the same breath, whether we like it or not…this is also the first impression people have of you. The way we carry ourselves and how we present ourselves is the first thing people see. My children explained that their friends respect what other classmates choose to wear and even if they think a classmate is wearing shorts that are too short, exposing cleavage or even wearing a hood over their head in 90 degree weather, it’s their choice to do so. I heard this from other teens that I spoke with too. I was glad to hear that they didn’t judge other kids for the way they dressed. But what I did stress to them was this…your peers aren’t the only ones who see you. You will be seen by parents, teachers and potential employers all throughout your life. These people may all look at how you present yourself differently. It most likely will matter to them. They will care how you present yourself. I was happy to see that they agreed with this.

Where do we go from here?

I decided to give Anthony and Alex a small list of questions to help them navigate choosing an outfit for outside of school events and occasions. I explained to them that these are things I think about myself when getting dressed! They were receptive to the idea because it gives them freedom in choosing their own clothes. I liked it because it takes me out of the equation, and now that we have laid some ground work it builds trust.

*Is this outfit appropriate for the weather?

*Will there be activities that I can comfortably participate in with this outfit?

*Is the outfit I’m planning on wearing appropriate for where I’m going? Is it a funeral, church, an adventure park or the beach?

I know that we still have Middle School and High School years to navigate and the road of “what is appropriate to wear” may not always be this smooth. At least it’s a start. As always, I think openly discussing things is important and so is respecting my children’s opinion. I also realize that every teen is different and so are all parent/child relationships.

I hope you’ll join me next week. Alex and I collaborated on planning her Summer Looks. It was quite an adventure as she has grown out of the children’s department and is shopping in Juniors. There were many more options and it was interesting to see the items she chose and how she arrived at her decisions!

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