Someone’s gaining on me! Alex wearing CAbi Cruise Skirt, Van’s Sneakers and Anthropologie “A” necklace. Mom in Meline Shoes and Moxie Tee Dress.

Last week’s blog was all about “Teaching My Teens How They Dress Matters.” Alex wears uniforms to school and trains in horse show jumping after school, so her “social wardrobe” was lacking. We were going to visit family in New England and she needed clothes.

We sometimes don’t agree on the length of the shorts and these were a perfect compromise. Levi’s denim and cabi Breeze Pullover.

So, we assessed her current wardrobe to see what fit and what didn’t. We donated school uniforms back to school and riding clothes went to the consignment shop. We made a list of what she would need for the trip and we agreed on the list of items to purchase.

Our shopping list…

A denim jacket, shorts, tees, sneakers, dresses that she could wear to dinner, a lightweight sweater (other than a “hoodie”) and sandals.

Tucker and Tate dress. The ruffle keeps it 12.

We started at Nordstroms because we’ve always had so much luck there. It is exciting to see Alex’s style evolve as she grows up. Even though I think of her as a child, we are more often shopping in the Junior Department. That’s the scary part! There is quite a difference in the looks from children’s to junior’s!

cabi Cruise skirt, Levi’s denim jacket, Sam Edelman wedges.

How do you teach your 12 year old to dress like a 12 year old when the clothing she fits in looks like it is designed for older women? I’m afraid if I tell her to wear more modest things, it will make her think I want her to “hide” her body. But, I don’t want her to think that by being comfortable in her own skin means she should “put it all out there.” It is such a fine line.

I want Alex to have a positive body image and it can take one comment to change the way she will look at herself. As I mentioned in "Teaching My Teens How They Dress Matters,” I want both of my children to have their own style and to feel comfortable in the clothing they wear. I do, however, want them to realize that it’s important to think about what you wear and what it says about you. Your peers aren’t the only ones who see you. You will be seen by parents, teachers and potential employers all throughout your life. These people may all look at how you present yourself differently. It most likely will matter to them. They will care how you present yourself.

We had an amazing salesperson in the Nordstrom Children’s Department. She was pretty talented as she brought us items that we both agreed on. I am not sure how old she was but she was wise. She understood where we were both coming from. It wasn’t an easy job as she ran between the children’s department and the junior department (which was upstairs) finding items to help us complete the list.

Meeting her right where she is. Van’s, tees and Levi shorts.

A couple of tips for making this shopping trip run smoothly…

*Find a salesperson who you can both relate to. I liken it to finding someone to help you with your own clothing. It helps when you feel you can relate to someone because you like their style. This is a little tougher when you have two people shopping!

*Let your tween pick out the items she’d like to try along with some of your selections. Ask her to be open to trying some of your ideas. She may not like them but at least she’s open to trying!

*Do the bathing suit test with clothing. Ask her to see how she feels when she’s moving in the item, sitting and bending over. Does the clothing ride up? Is it comfortable? Teach her how to use a 3-way mirror. If she’s unsure of the item have her take a selfie. I find it works better than a mirror.

*Finally, if you can’t agree on an item ask to keep it on “hold.” Having arguments while in the department store can make a “what’s supposed to be fun time” go sour quickly.

Dressed up with kicks. Fitted tee shirt dress but not low cut or too short…a good happy medium!

Alex and I discussed this blog post after our shopping trip. I wanted to know how she felt about the tips I suggested and, in general, about the items we purchased. She said the “tips about moving around in the clothing were helpful.” She said it reminded her about my suggestions when we were shoe shopping a while back, when I told her it was important to walk on the carpet and the flooring to see how comfortable the shoes were. The only place we still struggle is on “leggings as pants.” Fortunately, we didn’t need those on this trip!

Still a kid jumping off the slide. Levi shorts, white tank top and cabi Breeze Pullover Sweater.

I hope you find these tips helpful! I enjoyed shopping with with my “little girl” and I hope it will always remain a way for us to connect and have fun.