In a Sea of Lilly...My Adjustment To Coastal Living.

July 21, 2019Theo Pace

Our personal styles evolve over the years for many different reasons. We graduate from school. We start working. We change careers. We get married. We get divorced. We have children and decide to stay home. We have children and decide to continue working. We move. We gain weight. We lose weight. We age! Throughout all of these life events we transform and we grow in more ways than our personal style. I think the most difficult time I’ve had defining my style was when we moved to Florida.

As we go through changes it only makes sense that it will trickle down to how we dress. Having been through all of the above, the most difficult one for me was our move to Florida from Connecticut. In addition to all of the changes that come along with a move there were a lot of changes that were related to my personal style too. I was trying to adapt to all of them. I didn’t realize how drastic the change would be.

We had no friends here. I so desperately wanted to fit in and I wanted the kids to fit in too.
I put on weight before the move. I felt uncomfortable with my body and with wearing all the clothing that goes along with living in a tropical environment. How did I let my husband convince me to move to an area where swimsuits are “in season” year round?

The first time I was able to wear a jacket in Florida! I was so happy!!!

Fall and Winter are my favorite seasons and I adore the wardrobe changes that come with it. I love sweaters, boots and coats and I wondered, in our first October, if I would ever wear a sweater again.

Life is pretty simple here and also very casual. I was the woman who brought her perfume bottle to work to reapply. I had the perfect shoe to match every outfit. I was always “dressed” and never really went about my day in “athleisure” wear. Flip flops were for the pool not everyday life.

Almost overnight, I was living where we once vacationed. I was trying to adjust to a new life. I was feeling lonely, fat, hot, overwhelmed with the move, missing family and wondering how it was all going to play out. This change might not seem like such a big deal to many of you but I grew up in MA just blocks away from my entire family. I didn’t go away to college, I lived at home. My life was very much “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” that is, until I met Anthony and moved to CT.

So, why all the background? I want women to realize that defining your style isn’t always easy.

Sometimes, when we are adjusting to all the changes in our lives, we start trying different things to find our comfort zone. I always knew what I liked in New England. I wore a lot of black. I dressed a little edgier. I didn’t think about fitting in and it’s not that I was trying to stand out. I just felt comfortable in the clothes that I knew I liked and I wore them. When I wore those Summer clothes from New England in Florida, I felt out of place.

I remember a mom saying to me one day…”Oh, you have your New England look on today.” I went home and changed. I so desperately wanted to fit in and meet people that I started dressing in a way that wasn’t really me. I saw a lot of Lilly Pulitzer, and other designers with fun prints and great colors that had more of a coastal vibe. I tried them in an effort to “look” like a Floridian. However, I never really felt like myself.

My “ah ha” moment came when I realized that the classic coastal styles weren’t allowing me to feel like myself. I was never at ease because the clothes I was wearing were not a reflection of my personality. As I mention in “I. Feel. Pretty.” Fashion excites me, it’s how express myself.

So, I began to assess what was working and not working for me in my current wardrobe and I’m not going to tell you it was easy. As I got more familiar with the area, I uncovered small boutiques that better fit my style. I took the time to find fabrics and designs that helped me uncover my new Florida look.

So what’s the big takeaway?

I don’t think at a certain age you wake up and say “I’m a classic dresser” and that is your “style” for the rest of your life. As we go through life, we experience changes that impact what we wear and our sense of style. Those changes aren’t always easy and may make finding our personal style more difficult than just looking at Pinterest or watching tv, or the movies, and seeing who you can identify with. It can be tempting to allow our style to be influenced by those around us. That can often lead us to feeling uncomfortable and not letting others see who we really are.

If I were to walk you through assessing what your look was, I would ask you many questions about your lifestyle. I would want to get to know you. This move made me get to know myself all over again. You may find the need to get to know yourself again too. It’s important to look at all aspects of our life, where we live, weather, weight and personal comfort. From there we would build a style that says “This is me,” “I. Feel. Pretty.” and I like it!

Any time I have worked with someone and we go through this process it is well worth it. Thinking things through takes time but, in the end, saves money. Have you just been through a major life change? Do you feel like your wardrobe expresses who you are? I’d love to help if you feel like you’re stuck. This is truly what brings me the most joy and I know how difficult it can be! Check out Ways to Work with Theo and My Styling Successes. I’d love for you to be this happy!